


I love you (in case you haven't heard)

by Kookiebutter



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Changbin is a music student, Deaf Character, Domestic, Felix just likes to read, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Lee Felix is a sweetheart, Lee Felix-centric (Stray Kids), M/M, Pining, Seo Changbin is a Panicked Gay, Seo Changbin-centric, Sign Language, Texting, side hyunIN, with chaotic af friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:47:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29078067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kookiebutter/pseuds/Kookiebutter
Summary: “Do you know what time the library closes?” Changbin asks, mentally high fiving himself for not tripping over his words this time when Cute Boy meets his gaze.He points at his ear, and at the same time the rapper starts to repeat himself, the other mouths the phraseI'm deaf.Oh, okay. So Changbin is a dumbass.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 64
Kudos: 257





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: I did research, but I'm not deaf so pls let me know if there's anything I need to fix. your comfort is most important! (I'm also not in college or a music student lmaoo so basically i have no idea what im doing, but when vague au ideas call i answer)

Changbin loves his friends, he really does, but no matter how hard he tries to teach them, they just can’t seem to grasp the concept of an indoor fucking voice.

By some stroke of luck, he and his roommates have a class together this semester, and were able to work on their midterm project as a group. They were each in charge of composing two or three tracks on a mixtape, then, they would record the vocals and add all the finishing touches.

Changbin, Chan and Jisung had made music together plenty of times, (heck, they had even unofficially named their trio "3racha") but there were never any actual guidelines, so Changbin is a little stressed out. Some days, it was helpful for him to be in the same room as them and get feedback… others, he could barely hear himself think. Today was one of _those_ days.

One morning after a particularly boring class, half conscious, he wanders into the library to get some coffee. Upon going through the revolving glass door, he’s met with near silence.

Just like that, he’s found his new work spot.

“Do you guys have wifi here?” Changbin asks the barista after placing a coffee order.

“Of course..” the girl sighs, giving him a rather tired look. Well, how was he supposed to know? He's never really had any business being in the library.

“Thanks so much.” He offers the girl a smile as she hands him his coffee and her demeanor changes. Changbin's been told that women find him attractive… that would be pretty nice if he was attracted to them back.

He wanders among the shelves for a moment, scoping out the area. Most of the tables are full, whether it’s a group of friends chatting quietly or students working on computers. In the corner by the window, there seems to be one empty table, but as Changbin gets closer, he sees there’s one person sitting there.

“Do you mind if I sit?” He asks. The boy doesn’t reply, buried in his book, only the top of his blonde head visible.

Hoping that means he doesn’t really care either way, he pulls the chair out and only then does the boy notice Changbin’s presence.

Holy shit, he’s adorable. Changbin points at the seat and he gives him a small smile and nods politely.

So, Changbin came to the library to escape distractions, but as fate would have it, this is even worse than home. He finds himself entranced by his tablemate- his freckles, his rosy cheeks, the way his hair falls at the back of his neck, how his sleeves slightly cover his hands, and how his lips are set in a pout with calculating eyes as he turns the pages. 

He makes an incredulous face at what he just read, and Changbin just can’t help himself.

“What are you reading?” He blurts out.

The boy looks up again and raises his eyebrows at him, signaling that he didn’t hear the first time. Changbin feels bad for wasting his time now but repeats himself, pointing at the book. He smiles and lifts the cover so he can see for himself.

To be honest, Changbin doesn’t know the first thing about literature. The last time he read for pleasure was two years ago, and it may or may not have been a fanfiction. This guy could say any book in the world and he would probably assume it was a literary masterpiece. This title is long and he guesses its a fantasy novel- which is fitting, the blonde looks like he just walked out a fairy tale himself. Seriously, this guy is ethereal. He feels like he just downed ten pixie sticks after seeing his smile earlier.

“I-is it good?” He asks when the boy doesn't look away, stumbling.

He does a chef’s kiss, and goes back to reading. Changbin has butterflies even after he goes home.

\--

The next day, Changbin isn’t in desperate need of coffee, but he finds himself returning to the library anyway. The boy is there again, in the same spot reading a new book.

As he gets a bit more comfortable with his presence, Changbin is able to calm down and work for a bit. After around half an hour, he closes his laptop and rubs his eyes. His tablemate notices the movement, and folds the corner of his book to mark his spot.

“Do you know what time the library closes?” Changbin asks, mentally high fiving himself for not tripping over his words this time when Cute Boy meets his gaze.

He points at his ear, and the rapper opens his mouth to repeat himself, but then the other boy mouths the phrase _I’m deaf_.

Oh, okay. So Changbin is a dumbass.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, this whole time I… I was just... fuck.” He can feel himself rambling, but now that he’s started he’s worked himself into a bit of a panic. The blonde looks distressed to see him talk so fast and searches the table. He spots Changbin’s phone laying on his bag and gestures for Changbin to hand it over. Still flustered, he complies. 

After he finishes typing his number in and sending himself a text to confirm, he hands it back to Changbin. He stares at the name. _Felix_.

**_Felix_ ** _: hai :) we can talk this way!_

**_Changbin_ ** _: oh, smart idea_

_btw, my name’s changbin._

**_Felix_ ** _: usually i can read lips okay but you were going kinda fast_

_are you okay?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: I was just trying to apologize, sorry :(_

_I wish i knew sign language_

**_Felix_ ** _: its no problem!_

_please, be thankful you don't bc I'm very chatty lol_

_do you want me to teach you some?_

Felix goes through a short series of movements which Changbin follows carefully- although he finds himself getting a little distracted by his delicate hands- ending with the two pointing at each other.

**_Changbin_ ** _: ??_

**_Felix_ ** _: nice to meet you :D_

\--

On day three, as Changbin is working on a rather tedious melody, his pocket buzzes. Normally, he would ignore it but in his peripherals he spots Felix typing and he nearly knocks over his coffee digging out his phone.

**_Felix_ ** _: what are you working on?_

_sorry for prying but you look so serious. I’m soo curious_

**_Changbin_ ** _: It’s my final for music production_

_I’m making a mixtape with a couple of my friends_

**_Felix_ ** _: that’s so cool :0_

**_Changbin_ ** _: thanks. I love what I do, but the deadline is stressing me out tbh :')_

_what do you study?_

**_Felix_ ** _: I'm a psych major_

_I just read for fun. ik I'm lame_

**_Changbin_ ** _: not at all. I wish I had the patience for that_

**_Felix_ ** _: what kind of music do you make?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: hip hop, mostly._

**_Felix_ ** _: can I listen to it??_

**_Changbin_ ** _: uhh ???_

_idk,, can you ??_

**_Felix_ ** _: lolol to an extent. classical doesn't do it for me but if something has a bass I can feel the vibrations_

_I don’t have to if that isn’t helpful_

**_Changbin_ ** _: no!!! no_

_I would love for you to listen to it_

_my headphones are wireless. here_

Changbin slips his headphones off his ears and hands them to Felix, feeling his stomach do a flip as their hands brush. He turns up the bass a considerable amount before he presses play, and Felix closes his eyes and starts tapping his fingers on the table to the rhythm. He looks cute in his headphones, Changbin almost wants to lend him his hoodie, too.

He's only snapped out of his thoughts when Felix taps his arm lightly and gives the headphones back with a thumbs up. With that small encouragement, in an hour Changbin makes more progress than he has all week.

\--

“You’re later than usual.” Jisung says, peeking his head over the couch when Changbin arrives at their apartment.

“Yeah, I was at the library.”

“That’s out of character.” He teases.

“I just needed some peace and quiet.”

“Hmph. Well, now that you’ve recharged, come hang out with me.”

Changbin sits on the couch and listens to Jisung talk absentmindedly about the award show performance going on. Normally, he would be invested right alongside him, but he can’t get his mind off Felix.

“God, I wish that were me,” Jisung sighs as the rapper finishes his verse and the crowd goes wild.

“Do you know any sign language?” Changbin cuts in.

“Haha, yeah, some. Look: _Daddy_.” He shows him without missing a beat, snickering. 

“I don’t even want to know.”

Once he realizes Changbin isn't in the mood to joke with him, Jisung pouts and curls up to his side like a sorry cat. "Why did you ask? Did you meet somebody?”

“Well, yes.. but not like that. We've been sitting at the same table, and I let him wear my headphones today... he's really cute or whatever the fuck- quit looking at me like that.” He grumbles when Jisung squeals, hiding his face in his hands. Changbin isn't dark and mysterious or anything, at least not around Jisung, but he doesn't usually express any kind of mushy feelings either so it's understandable that his friend is ecstatic.

“Come on, everyone loves you, don’t be so anxious. Just watch some youtube videos. Or have him teach you a few new phrases every day.”

“I can’t believe you just gave me good advice.”

\--

_Do you want coffee? I’ll pay._ Changbin signs when he gets to the table the next day, hands still shaky and unsure, but the message is clear anyway. Felix lights up and nods enthusiastically.

Feeling a bit lightheaded, he orders and hopes Felix doesn’t hate mochas.

When he returns he thanks him four or five times, both signing and mouthing the phrase, still beaming before his hands close around the cup. Wow, Changbin would buy 100 more coffees if it meant Felix would smile at him like that every morning.

**_Felix_ ** _: I thought you didn't know sign language? when did you learn that ????_

**_Changbin_ ** _: I just watched a few videos last night... was it ok?_

**_Felix_ ** _: omg changbin ;-; yes ;-;_

_that’s so nice of you to think of me :’)))_

_‘Oh, you have no idea, buddy,’_ Changbin wants to say.

**_Felix_ ** _: and then buy me a coffee no less??_

_What did i do to deserve this?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: don’t sweat it. It’s cheap here_

_think of it as payment for me disturbing you every day_

**_Felix_ ** _: don’t say that like we’re not friends now_

He points at himself, then at Changbin, and links his index fingers.

**_Changbin_ ** _: what are you reading today?_

Felix points at the cover smugly.

**_Changbin_ ** _: never heard of that. give me a summary??_

**_Felix_ ** _: aren’t you supposed to be working on your music?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: no way_

**_Felix_ ** _: changbin.._

**_Changbin_ ** _: pls help me procrastinate :((_

\--

So it goes on like this for another week. Every afternoon when he shows up to the library, Felix is sitting in the same spot (whether he's changed his routine for Changbin or he's just along for the ride, he'll never know.) On Monday and Tuesday, he was buried in a book. Yesterday he brought a small yellow notepad and wrote for the entire hour. Changbin asked him what he was writing, and among other things, Felix taught him the sign for _mind your business._

Changbin has a bit of artists’ block today, so he's mostly been watching YouTube and stealing occasional glances at Felix the whole hour. He's about to cave and ask for a new word to practice, or a summary of what he's reading when his phone rings.

“What's up, hyung?”

_“I’m on break. Whatcha doing?”_ Chan’s voice says over the line. He can hear a couple of his coworkers, unfortunately also their friends, screaming in the background and fondly rolls his eyes.

“I’m at the library working on the stupid kick in track three. It doesn’t sync up with the vocals how I planned.”

_“I like the beat you made, dude. We can redo the vocals later, don’t stress.”_

“Just please check it when you get a minute.”

_“Mhm. So… How’s your boyfriend?”_

“What?”

_“The guy you’re trying to learn sign language for?"_

“I mentioned him once to Jisung.. you weren’t even there.” Changbin accuses, glancing up self consciously only to see Felix invested in a scene in his newest read.

_“Yeah, but you never talk about crushes with us, he was excited. You know, I’m usually the voice of reason, but it’s been forever since you’ve got laid.”_

“Oh my god. You know I don't do hookups or whatever you're implying.”

_“Ask him out then?”_

“I’m never talking to you again.”

_“Okay, love you too. See you at home.”_

Changbin smiles despite himself, and hangs up. Felix looks up at him suddenly and gives him a little wave. He feels his cheeks prickle under the attention.

_Who was that?_ He signs, eyes friendly and curious. He’s always so expressive- when he gets excited his face lights up, and when he makes some sort of remark he scrunches his nose and his hands get twitchy. Changbin just hopes his face conveys any emotion at all when he signs. Or maybe it would be better if it didn't, lest he give himself away.

_A friend._ He repeats Felix's gesture from earlier.

Felix asks a follow up question but Changbin hasn't learned the sign yet.

_What?_

“Your girlfriend?” Felix asks. His voice is deep and a little raspy, and in his shock, Changbin can barely register how nice it sounds, because Felix had just spoken out _loud._

“Wait.. _. what?”_

Felix averts his eyes and shrugs. Sensing discomfort, Changbin pulls out his phone.

**_Changbin_ ** _: you can talk????_

**_Felix_ ** _: yeah, I’m not mute, I just prefer not to..._

_I got bullied for it back in high school._

_I let my guard down just now._

_You can let your guard down with me,_ Changbin wants to kiss the crease in his brow away and say. But that’s insensitive and not to mention pushing it entirely too far, off a metaphorical cliff even. It makes his heart ache.

**_Changbin_ :** _WHAT?? that's bullshit. I like your voice._

_it’s okay if you’re not comfortable though, our thing works perfectly fine._

_Our_ thing _._ Changbin had said it himself, and yet the room feels a little smaller all the sudden.

“Thank you.” Felix says, quietly, carefully. (He has an accent like Chan’s, he notes.) The tips of his ears are red, too, and on one hand, Changbin finds it adorable, but on the other, he knows it’s because he’s insecure. Next time, if he works up the courage, he’ll make sure Felix blushes for a good reason.

**_Felix_ ** _: your free trial has ended_

**_Changbin_ ** _: hahahaha. no worries_

_and I don’t have a girlfriend dude tf_

Changbin swears he sees Felix’s shoulders relax, but maybe it’s wishful thinking.

**_Felix_ ** _: lololol_

_me neither_

\--

**_Changbin_ ** _: then I was like you know what? you deserve this kevin_

_and threw the entire bowl at him_

**_Felix_ ** _: oh my god that’s incredible sksffjjsjsjdfd_

_hey I’ve got an early class tomorrow so I better go. goodnight!!_

**_Changbin_ ** _: night lix :)_

Changbin falls down onto his pillow smiling to himself like an absolute idiot. It's been, what, two weeks, three? He can't remember a time where he wasn't thinking about Felix.

He closes his eyes and drifts off, but in the middle of the night he's gently woken up by his phone lighting up.

**_Felix_ ** _: changbin?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: yea_

_what’s up?_

**_Felix_ ** _: I just had a bad dream... sorry_

_I didn't wake you up, did I?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: nope_

_wanna talk about it?_

**_Felix_ ** _: its stupid_

_but after we talked today I guess some memories just kinda made their way into my head_

**_Changbin_ ** _: the bullying?_

**_Felix_ ** _: am I that much of an open book?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: nope. I’m just very perceptive ;)_

Changbin imagines what Felix must look like right now, curled into a ball and maybe hugging a pillow for comfort, flushed cheeks, messy blonde hair and puffy eyes. He wishes he was there to wipe his tears or cuddle him until he fell back asleep.

**_Changbin_ ** _: If anyone ever gives you a mean look ever again, I’m beating their ass, okay?_

**_Felix_ ** _: yea.. you definitely could. you do have nice biceps_

Changbin smiles, hoping maybe Felix had laughed in a watery sort of way. Then it hits him- Felix said he had _nice biceps._ Do friends say that to each other?

**_Felix_ ** _: I mean objectively, not that I was staring_

Okay, maybe, just _maybe,_ not, Changbin concludes, mind racing a mile a minute.

**_Changbin_ ** _: it would be okay if you were_

**_Felix_ ** _: ahahaha_

_well now I'm embarrassed_

**_Changbin_ ** _: I stare at your freckles a lot_

_They’re like a little galaxy on your face_

**_Felix_ ** _: dude c'mon that's so cheesy_

**_Changbin_ ** _: ha who's more embarrassed now_

_(its me)_

**_Felix_ ** _: lmaoo_

_thanks for staying up w me_

**_Changbin_ ** _: no problem_

_see you tommorow?_

**_Felix_ ** _: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm_

_yes_

\--

_Good morning,_ Changbin signs. _How are you?_

_Good._ Felix replies. _I paid for coffee today._

Changbin smiles and thanks him, downing the whole thing almost immediately. When he’s finished he stretches, and to his surprise, when he glances up at Felix, he’s already watching him.

_You like what you see?_

_Shut up!_ Felix shoots back quickly, eyes wide and flustered.

**_Felix_ ** _: where'd you learn that line anyway? -_-_

**_Changbin_ ** _: im practicing a lot_

_I’m flattered tho, half the reason I work out is for this sole purpose_

**_Felix_ ** _: ???_

**_Changbin_ ** _: cute boys noticing_

**_Felix_ ** _: lol_

_..._

_wait_

_you're gay?_

_or bi ????_

_Oops_.

Now it’s Changbin's turn to look like a deer caught in headlights. Felix stares back for a moment and then smiles bashfully.

_Me too._

\--

**_Felix_ ** _: its not just your arms_

**_Changbin_ ** _: hm ????_

**_Felix_ ** _: sleep texting sorry_

**_Changbin_ ** _: lix get back here right now and tell me_

**_Felix_ ** _: I just wanted to make sure you know the rest of you is attractive too_

_not just your muscles_

**_Changbin_ ** _: oh thanks dude_

_wait, objectively or to you?_

**_Felix_ ** _: to mw_

_me_

**_Changbin_ ** _: oh_

_You're attractive to me too felix_

**_Felix_ ** _: really?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: of course_

**_Felix_ ** _: like how attractive?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: you know bts_

**_Felix_ ** _: yes, I adore them_

**_Changbin_ ** _: ok well if I had to choose between you and kim namjoon I'd pick you_

**_Felix_ ** _: ok ok damn!! that's enough flattery_

**_Changbin_ ** : _you deserve compliments tho_

_I like watching your ears turn red_

**_Felix_ ** _: woah_

ok imma go before i say something risky

**_Changbin_ ** _: noo tell me_

**_Felix_ ** _: zzzzzzzzz_

\--

On Saturday, Changbin wakes up at around noon to a text from Felix.

**_Felix_ ** _: good morning! I think I half consciously texted you last night_

_anyway the library’s closed, so i'll see you monday?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: ofc. text me if you need anything, ok?_

**_Felix_ ** _: :)_

“Binnie, are you awake?” Minho bursts into his room, looking out of breath.

“You don’t even live here.”

“Innie brought his boyfriend over.” He says, flopping onto the bed dramatically and fake sniffling. “So don’t come out of this room looking like a drowned rat. I want to make a good impression on our little baby fox’s behalf.”

Changbin ushers him out of the room and throws on a nice jacket. When he walks down the hallway, Minho and Chan are in the kitchen, Jisung is sitting at the table with his laptop open, Seungmin is watching TV, and Jeongin is sitting in his boyfriends lap grinning from ear to ear. It’s a genuine peaceful smile, not a ‘Jeongin-is-about-to-cause-chaos-on-purpose’ smile. 

Changbin immediately thinks of Felix, much like he’s been doing every time he sees something that even vaguely connects to him- earlier this week he had seen a dog on the street and his brain proceeded to take him through an elaborate daydream where they bought an apartment and adopted a puppy together. 

“Hey hyung!” His youngest friend chirps, waving at him haphazardly.

“You’re.. In a good mood.”

“Of course.” He hums. "I'm sitting in the lap of the most handsome man in the world."

“Jeongin, shut up. Hearing you be all sappy is making me feel weird.” Seungmin interrupts from across the room. He then points at the object of affection. “You’re cool though.”

“You’re just jealous!” 

The boyfriend smiles sheepishly and addresses Changbin as Jeongin nuzzles into his neck. “Hi, I’m Hyunjin.” 

“Changbin.”

“No way.” He pauses, studying him intently. “...Felix’s Changbin?”

Changbin really likes the sound of that. Now isn't the time, though. 

“You know him?”

“Yes! He’s my best friend.” Hyunjin says. His smile is easygoing, but fond nonetheless.

“Aren't I your best friend?"

“You too, my love.” Hyunjin kisses Jeongin’s cheek and Seungmin groans again. “But yeah, I’ve known him since we were in diapers. My parents are deaf too, so sign language was my first language.”

“Wow, that's amazing. We usually talk by texting but I've been trying to learn it.”

“He told me you were really sweet.” Hyunjin nods, a smile twitching at his lips when Jeongin adds _himbo_ under his breath.

“Changbin, will you come review this part for me?” Jisung yells from the dining room.

Hyunjin grabs his wrist gingerly.

“Can I teach you a word really quick? He loves it when you compliment him.”

“O-oh, sure.”

Hyunjin sweeps a hand across his face in a circular sort of motion.

“ _Pretty_.” He translates, and then throws in a smug wink.

\--

"Can you guys stop making out?! That's it, I'm coming out as homophobic."

"Seungmin, _you're_ gay." Minho calls.

_"_ I _know_! That's why I can't look away!" He exclaims, on the edge of hysteria. Changbin can smell a side story brewing but Jisung has finally fixed the vocals, and he's more excited about that matter.

\--

**_Changbin_ ** _: hey_

_felix_

_hey_

_hey_

_lix_

**_Felix_ ** _: happy monday *dies inside*_

_and what’s with u blowing my phone up? I'm right here lmao_

**_Changbin_ ** _: I met your friend Hyunjin this weekend_

**_Felix_ ** _: WHUT_

_Jinnie’s like my best friend!_

_where?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: He was at my apt. turns out he’s my friend’s boyfriend_

_guess what word he taught me_

**_Felix_ ** _: ohh that’s so cool :)_

_you seem excited to tell me so_

_fuck? shit? dumbass?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: OMG FELIX!!_

_no but teach me those next_

Telling Felix he’s conventionally attractive over text at 3am is one thing- saying it in broad daylight as Felix meets his gaze expectantly is another.

_You look pretty_ , he signs.

Felix raises his eyebrows and points at himself quizzically. Changbin nods.

He smiles, looking a little surprised but also incredibly pleased, and shakes his head. 

  
_Do your work_ , he replies, swatting at the air. Out of the corner of his eye Changbin catches another gesture that looks suspiciously like _dumbass_ (history really does repeat itself, huh), but the fond smile on Felix's face even after he returns to his book only makes the butterflies in his stomach worse. He’s gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!! I hope u all had a good week!! 
> 
> surprise, this is three chapters now!! I'm so excited to show u what felix is thinking 🥺

Felix was reading a pretty good book the first day Changbin had sat at his table, but afterward he wasn’t able to focus on it at all. Ever since he was a kid looking through picture books, he's imagined himself as the main character- that’s just a given, really- but lately he’s developed this terrible habit of imagining Changbin among the pages with him, no matter how the love interest is really described. One Wednesday he tried to write something of his own, but he just ended up writing “Seo Felix” and “Lee Changbin” about fifty times... if he dies, he’s gonna have to ask Hyunjin to burn that.

_Do you know what we're talking about?_ Soobin asks, tapping Felix out of his most recent daydream. He stops pretending to pay attention to the interpreter at the front of the lecture hall to look at his friend. 

It's not that he doesn't find psychology interesting, he does, just, this early in the morning he would rather have coffee and sit by the library window watching the snowfall. As of yesterday, he's reading a generic royalty YA novel sort of deal- it’s not really that good, the protagonist is much too predictable and he can’t understand why the guy has any interest in her at all- but he can’t help but think Changbin is a little bit like a prince, showing up into his life unexpected and sweeping him off his feet. People always say they want to learn sign language and Felix gets excited, but then it turns out they just want to know swear words. Changbin, on top of being handsome, sweet, and funny, is actually making progress, for _him_.

_Nope. I was spacing out._ He says, completely honest. Soobin sighs, sweeping his blue hair out of his face.

_Probably the same spiel as yesterday._ He shrugs. _Do you wanna hang out after class?_

_I’ve got somewhere to be, sorry._

_You’ve been saying that for weeks... what’s up?_

_Nothing bad. Don’t worry._ He gives him a thumbs up, and Soobin, though he still looks a little concerned, puts his head down on the table and eventually takes a nap.

\--

Felix gets to the library first today and, on reflex, gets in line for coffee. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy people buying things for him, but he enjoys the smile on Changbin’s face when he gets him a cake pop with his drink more.

When Changbin works on his laptop, he always has that same look on his face. Brow furrowed, lips pursed, a hundred percent focused. Sometimes he smirks to himself or runs a hand over his face. Felix kind of has to stop himself from drooling on the desk. At the same time, if he didn’t know any better, he would probably be intimidated by Changbin if this is the only way he saw him. But every time he looks up at Felix his features are soft and gentle. His duality is unreal. He wears all black down to his boots, and yet his phone case is pink and decorated with stickers that spell out “Bin!!”.

His phone buzzes and he smiles as Changbin looks up at him patiently.

**_Changbin_ ** _: hey so_

_midterms are due tomorrow_

Felix tries not to say anything sappy but the fact gives him a pang in his chest- if Changbin has nothing to work on, will they still hang out?

**_Felix_ ** _: yeah!! how are you coming?_

**_Changbin_ ** _: oh good good I’ve had a lot of time to work_

_I've been going to the library a lot. lol_

_anyway this new ice skating rink opened downtown and chan, jisung, seungmin, minho, jeongin, and hyunjin wanna go that night to celebrate_

_do you want to come with??_

Felix’s brain almost short circuits when he reads the last sentence and he has to remind himself several times that this is, in fact, not a date. Also, he can’t ice skate, so it probably wouldn’t be all that romantic.

**_Felix_ ** _: ohhh_

_that sounds so fun :(_

**_Changbin_ ** _: then why the sad face?_

**_Felix_ ** _: I can’t skate for shit_

**_Changbin_ ** _: I’ll teach you!!_

_It’ll be fun!_

Of course he'd do that for him. Felix should've known.

**_Felix_ ** _: in that case I'd love to :)_

\--

_I’m really glad that you’re coming. Trust me, you'll love Changbin's friends._ Hyunjin rambles, pacing around Felix's bedroom and touching everything on his dresser. He finds some hairclips in the drawer and puts them in, admiring himself in the mirror.

_Probably. I love you. And Innie._

_Yeah? I can think of one more person._

He scoffs, pretending to push Hyunjin off of him when he ruffles his hair. _When's Jeongin getting here?_

_We’re all meeting at 3racha's apartment._ He finds another interesting trinket and claps his hands. _Sit._

Felix sits on the edge of his bed obediently, and eyes Hyunjin suspiciously when he uncaps an eyeliner pen. _I haven't seen that in ages._

_Don’t you wanna look pretty for Changbin?_

Felix takes a deep breath. Changbin had said he was pretty on Monday, and he had laid awake all night thinking about it, heart in double knots. But still, it might not have meant anything. Hyunjin calls him pretty all the time.

_It’s gonna smudge._ He tells him with his eyes closed, feeling a little emotional all the sudden.

Hyunjin presses his fingers to Felix's lips, which he finds incredibly funny since he was talking with his hands, but he sits still.

_\--_

**_Changbin_ ** _: hey are u guys on your way?_

**_Felix_ ** _: yes see you soon babe ;)_

_Dfs;;_

_Ad_

_a_

_dfsodfo_

_THAT WAS HYUNJIN JJFDSJ_

_\--_

3racha's apartment is a wave of chaos, and the handful of Changbin's friends that haven't met Felix yet gush over him for a good five minutes, but he finally finds Changbin when the two are ushered into the backseat of Minho's car, along with Hyunjin and Jeongin.

_Sorry they're crazy._ Changbin signs apologetically.

_No, I like them._ Despite Felix's nervousness due to the fact their sides are touching, he hasn't felt awkward around anyone so far, even if there are some language barriers.

**_Felix_ ** _: one of them hugged me_

_Jisung I think_

**_Changbin_ ** _: oh my god_

**_Felix_ ** _: lolol noo I love hugs_

_the only thing that's making me anxious is the thought of falling on my ass_

Changbin shakes his head. _I'll help. Don't worry._

Felix smiles and Jeongin pokes him in the ribs several times to get his attention.

_Hi handsome._ Jeongin hates to be left out, so he picked up sign language from watching Felix and Hyunjin pretty quickly.

Felix pats his head. _How have you been?_

_Super busy. Kinda wanna fake my death and move somewhere tropical._

_Pfft._

_I can't ice skate either._ Jeongin tells him.

_I'm glad I'm not the only one._

_It's a good excuse for me to fall into Hyunjin’s arms every second though. And hey, it's so cool that you're dating Changbin! We can go on double dates._

_That's sweet, but we're not dating, Jeongin._

_Then why are you blushing?_ He pinches his cheeks, and Felix sighs and lets it happen.

**_Changbin_ ** _: didn't know innie knew sign language_

_what are you guys talking about??_

**_Felix_ ** _: just catching up_

_why, you jealous ?? ;)_

**_Changbin_ ** _: yeah_

Oh. That wasn't the answer he was expecting.

**_Changbin_ ** _: I just wish I could say more than just how are you and simple stuff_

_I’m glad we can text, but you're right here you know?_

**_Felix_ ** _: don’t beat yourself up, you've been making so much progress_

_it means a lot to me_

_Just practice,_ He adds.

_I know, I know. I like your…_ Changbin furrows his brows and studies Felix intently. _'What’s it called?'_ he fusses aloud to himself.

He absentmindedly reaches out and tucks a stray piece of hair into Felix’s hat. His fingertips softly graze his face, just above his cheekbone and Felix’s breath stutters to a halt.

_Eyeliner?_ Felix mouths and Changbin nods, expression unreadable.

Huh. Thanks, Hyunjin.

\--

The rest of the ride is somewhat uneventful but halfway through, Changbin asks for the aux cord. After he's picked out a playlist he says something to Minho, and Jeongin's eyebrows shoot up.

_You know what he just said?_ He nudges Felix.

_What?_

_'Turn it up so Felix can hear'._

\--

When they get to the ice skating rink, one of Changbin’s friends taps Felix on the shoulder and spells out his name with his hand. _Chan_ . Felix nods enthusiastically and spells out his back, and Chan smiles and playfully elbows him. _'_ _I know! Changbin talked about you nonstop today.'_

His lips are easier to read than average, but Chan looks the other way when he adds the final bit of his sentence so he’s left on a bit of a cliffhanger.

_'Come with me.'_ He says, and the two walk over to the front desk. _'What size do you wear?'_

Felix holds up a few fingers and the person behind the desk reaches under and grabs a pair of skates. Chan hands them a couple bills and Felix starts to protest, but he pushes him out of the way gently and pays for the rentals. 

_'Let hyung do it.'_

The second Felix gets his hands on the skates, he’s suddenly being pulled away from Chan and he allows himself to be led towards the benches, expecting Hyunjin, Jeongin or another one of Changbin’s friends. His heart does a somersault when he realizes the gloved hand is attached to Changbin himself.

_'Do you want me to tie them?_ ' He asks. Felix props his legs up on the bench and Changbin goes to work, pulling the laces tight and crossing them over each other all the way up the boot. 

As they make their way over to the rink, waddling because of the blades under their feet, Hyunjin and Felix make eye contact from a few feet away and rather than coming over to meet him, his best friend makes finger guns at him and then takes off on the rink, pulling his possibly screaming boyfriend behind him.

Changbin steps onto the ice more gingerly and turns around, offering Felix both his hands.

He tries to be just as graceful but he can feel himself losing his footing as soon as he moves. 

“Ah,” he squeaks, stumbling forward into Changbin’s chest.

_'It’s okay'-_ Is probably what he says, but he only feels the vibration of his vocal cords. Felix tries to regain his footing and also not pass out due to the fact Changbin is practically holding him, and eventually he ends up side by side with him, holding his hand for balance.

He looks out onto the rink and watches the fairy lights still left wrapped around the street lamps from the holidays flicker. People are passing around them, but Felix hardly notices. His hand is so warm.

_'See?'_ Changbin bumps shoulders with him to get his attention, and then demonstrates how he pushes off with the side of his foot and then coasts a bit.

It’s a little bit like dancing, Felix thinks. He can do that.

He picks up the motion quickly, and after a few laps, he could probably skate circles around Changbin. He shows off a little to get a laugh out of him- stopping suddenly or pulling him around, but for the most part he’s content at the steady pace they've set. 

Hoping it comes off as nonchalant, he laces his fingers with Changbin’s. He definitely notices, going stiff at the contact, and Felix worries for a split second that he might have messed everything up... but after a few agonizing moments Changbin relaxes his grip and gives his hand a little squeeze.

\--

Changbin sneezes and stuffs his hands in his pockets. While they were skating, he felt fine, better than ever really, but now that they’re just out in the cold, that bone-chill is starting to set in.

Felix stops in his tracks, looking him up and down with a non threatening glare.

_I’m okay!_ He reassures him hurriedly.

If Felix were to say something in that moment, Changbin thinks it would be along the lines of, “You think you’re too tough to wear a proper coat, huh?” It would have no bite to it, though.

He takes off the oversized plaid scarf he’s wearing and hangs it on Changbin’s neck.

_I’m okay._ Changbin signs again, this time with less vigor. Felix and him are only inches apart, he can practically count all of his freckles.

"Gonna catch a cold, Binnie." He mutters, wrapping the fabric around once, twice, three times. It smells sweet, like vanilla. His eyes flicker up, cautious, questioning, but only for a millisecond.

He admires his handiwork one more time and then starts jogging to catch up with the rest of the group. Changbin follows like a lost puppy, hopelessly devoted. 

And if he wore a goddamn fuzzy scarf to sleep that night, no he didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little shorter. I have no idea what im gonna do for the last part yet lol but ill get there
> 
> tell me what you thought and if ur coming back say hey!


	3. NOT A CHAPTER!!

hi everyone, it's Lo :') I'm so sorry this isn't an update, I had finally sat down to write and then,,,, well, hopefully you're already aware of what's going on in our fandom. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure you're ok because I for one am exhausted of hearing about it, thinking about it, and writing paragraphs in comment sections, especially since it's finals week. that being said I'll spare u a rant, but let me just say it is my firm belief that hyunjin has a good heart and I'll protect him until the end. even if someone doesn't agree with what you have to say, please just be kind, we all need a rest right now.  
  
anyway, I hope you haven't forgotten about this fic, I seriously cherish your comments more than you know, and I WILL be finishing in due time!! I pinky promise! (I'll delete this thing then) itll be super long and extra fluffy but for now, feel free to tell me about anything at all, even if it's unrelated, stay are always here for each other <3 get some sleep, I love you!


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